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Why I’m still married

I’ve been married as long as some of my friends have been alive. While they were still putting peas in their ears, my husband and I were dealing loudly and gracelessly with weightier matters like whose turn it was to throw dinner together.

We were going through the marital equivalent of the terrible twos. It didn’t end until I realized that unless I took over the cooking, every second dinner would be instant mashed potatoes and canned corned beef.

Now here we are after almost 37 years. I’d like to think this is because we’re nobler, smarter or sexier than all the couples who broke up long ago. But I must be honest. Here’s a scene from our marriage.

September 6, 9 a.m.-ish

Husband (bent over the morning paper): Have you seen this?

Me (at the computer, wondering what the hell “this” is supposed to be and why I should care when I have weightier matters on my mind, like what some weirdly spiteful people are saying at a web site entirely devoted to the dissing of Rachael Ray): Mmmph.

Husband (reading aloud from the headlines): “Beloved tenor, Pavarotti, dead at 71!”

Me (never an opera fan, and besides I saw that headline at least an hour ago): So?

Husband: Did you catch the sidebar? “Pavarotti’s health reportedly failing!” (Long pause for effect.) Well, at least he’s stable!

Wouldn’t you know, I missed that sidebar. I laughed and laughed. Happens every day. And there you have it, the reason why we’re still married.

For more thoughts on the art of staying married, click here and here.

Posted by Rona

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